You can’t market your way to love.
What I mean is, you can’t show up as a sanitized, mass marketable version of yourself and think that will still turn on your soulmate. Nope!
Don’t get me wrong, most people don’t consciously realize they’re being inauthentic. Our culture, education system, fuck even our families, train us to be a “likable,” socially acceptable, easily digestible version of ourselves. But until we break out of that mindset and live from our authentic soul self, we will not manifest our soul partner. And, hey, I know it’s hard to show up as yourself. I’ve been there! I used to use dating apps as a way to seek mass validation. I was seeking the feeling of being pretty and likable, rather than using apps as a way to show off my authentic self, sense of humor, and kick ass lifestyle. Sure, I got lots of matches, because I was good at content marketing, but none of them were my match. They liked a fabricated version of me, not the real me. And by being inauthentic, I was probably repelling people who would actually appreciate me.
Your soulmate resonates with you at a soul level, not at a surface, mass marketable-self level. That’s why so many people who look perfect for each other on paper just don’t have any chemistry, while some people who logically don’t make sense together are perfect for each other. I see this every day through my work as a matchmaker. It doesn’t matter how good a match looks on paper, if both people aren’t leading with their soul, there will never be chemistry.
Being out of touch with your soul will create plenty of blocks that prevent you from actually manifesting and recognizing your soulmate. For one, you HAVE to show up as your most radiant, authentic self to manifest your soulmate. When you show up authentically, not only do you magnetize people to you who are vibrating at the same frequency, but you send a powerful message to the Universe. “I love myself. I love this being you have created for me to experience and the vessel you put it in. I am WORTHY of someone who feels the exact same way about me. And I won’t accept anything less.”
Second, if you don’t show up as your radiant, authentic, soul self, you will attract people who don’t appreciate all of you. This is when you attract partners that use you and want to change you, rather than partners who celebrate you at a soul level. Love yourself 100% or you won’t find a partner who will. I know, easier said than done. But doing the work to fully integrate and love all parts of yourself? So, so worth it.
AND you will be out of touch with what you actually crave in a partner. If your societal programing is still running the show, you will only pursue what you think you SHOULD want, rather than what your soul needs. How can you manifest your soulmate when you have no idea what your soul actually wants? I can’t tell you how many clients I see torturing themselves to fit in a box of what they think they should be pursuing, what their family would approve of, what their friends would be jealous of, rather than someone they could fall truly, madly, deeply for. Your parents, friends, and colleagues are not going to spend the rest of their lives with this person, so remove the blinders of their opinions.
“I ate society. It poisoned me.”
If you are unsatisfied in your dating life, it’s probably because your soul is not leading; your fears and societal programming are.
Does this sound familiar? You keep having shitty dates and can’t remember the last time you actually had chemistry with someone? You know something is off and dating feels exhausting? You’re losing hope as well as your passion in general? You can’t even remember what the magic spark feels like? Time to date with your soul! Drop the judgement and call in what your soul craves, not what you THINK you want.
Wait, but how do I do that?
If you’ve been out of touch with your soul for awhile, it can be hard to recognize that voice when it’s speaking. You’ve probably even been suppressing it. I’m going to be honest, building a bridge back to your authentic soul self is not easy work and you won’t have over night success. You might need help to get there. That’s why one whole module in my love coaching package is on deep soul desires.
If you want to get in touch with your soul the first place to start is by observing all of your thoughts without judgement. When you feel yourself judging, gently release it. This will help you to recognize the voices in your head and to hear yours more clearly. Once you do that, you can start communicating with your soul. Ask yourself, “What does my soul want?” “What does my soul want for dinner?” “What color does my soul want to paint my bedroom?”
As you do this, you will slowly start to build up this relationship. It IS a relationship, and you have to develop that trust again. But as you do, you’ll begin to step into and create the life you really want. Your vibration will change from “meh” to radical self love. You’ll be on the path to manifesting your soulmate.
If you’re ready to align your dating life and dating app profiles with your authentic self, check out my free ebook, Mindful Dating in the Digital World.
What is your soul craving today? What does your soul want you to do right now?